9 May 2013

Then It Dawned On Me

Spooky mist ... and compulsory discarded lager can

It was International Dawn Chorus Day the other day. This is run by The Wildlife Trusts who want people to experience the dawn chorus in their gardens or join organised walks, and make note of all the interesting birds they can hear.

Last year I did this in Garden65. It was a magical hour, very atmospheric, but disappointing ornithologically. In that absolutely no birds sang their little hearts out in these trees. There was a blackbird that sat on a neighbour's TV aerial and had a good shout, but otherwise the chorus took part some distance away. This year, then, I rather boldly ventured out into the nearby Fog Lane Park.

I kitted myself out as though it was a great expedition: hat, gloves, leggings under jeans, walking boots, thermos of coffee, toast wrapped in tin foil.

I was so nervous about it that to be honest I missed the official Day, and only reluctantly got up the next morning. I told the family that I definitely didn't want to do it, but I knew it would be enjoyable once I got there. It's a bit like doing exercise - getting out of the door is difficult but you feel pleased with yourself once the whole event is over.

In short, I made a fuss.



However, what was a big adventure for me turns out to be completely normal for my children.

Just as I went to leave my daughter came in.

She bounced in, pony tail flying, with bare ankles, leggings with no covering jeans, and only a t-shirt and thin cardigan on. It hadn't got into my head that she may go out when it is dark, and spend a few hours in the dark of a nightclub, but when she comes back the birds are singing and the sky is pink. Of course, the magic of the natural world completely bypasses her. The idea of listening to the birds and making notes of which ones you can hear just doesn't make sense to her. Her ears are probably ringing, so she couldn't here them anyway.

It goes back to that idea of framing. A thing itself, be it flower border, dawn, or something you are cross about, has no meaning until you give it one yourself. My daughter doesn't attach any significance to dawn whereas I go all misty eyed about it.


My son too is comfortable with being outside as the sun rises. He has been a paper boy for many years. I truly admire him for his fortitude. Every Saturday and Sunday he has ventured out on his bike through rain, snow and ice, and is very familiar with dawn. In fact he is so toughened to the phenomenon that he says he prefers the winter time when he starts in the dark and sees the sun gradually rise, in comparison to the summer when it is light throughout his rounds.



It is worth noting, although I am sure you already know this, that 'dawn' may officially be when the sun rises over the horizon, but birds don't have access to astronomical data sets. The sky becomes light well before the official time, so the birds begin to sing an hour or more before dawn. Both this year and last year I made the mistake of setting out about half an hour before official dawn, but the show had already peaked by then and the poor little birds were beginning to got on with the more prosaic task of feeding.

Half an hour or so after official dawn



5 May 2013

CBT In Action


Here is a perfect example of the efficacy of that popular CBT tool, reframing.

For years this patch of lawn has been a problem. Moss crowded out the grass, so I dug up the moss, but the grass didn't grow back. Instead ox-eye daisies and plantain and all manner of undesirables took hold.

  

True, in their pomp they do have a certain Timotei glamour,

*snigger*

but ... they are in the wrong place.

However, after an afternoon's work all such anxieties are banished. By simply moving the border from behind them to in front they have miraculously become a legitimate flower bed and no longer a scrappy bit of lawn.

If only other weed infested areas of life could be so neatly transformed.

2 May 2013

The Answer Is Always Cake


It's not a very good photo is it? Too much going on in it, and too contrasty. Not to mention the low light levels. Thank goodness it's just for 'illustrative purposes' then.

As you can just about make out I've been having the morning coffee in a different part of the garden this week. This corner is normally too spidery and dull to comfortably sit in, but the addition of garlands has pepped it up a bit. And I'm still proud of the newly sumptuous pond so it is nice to sit near and gaze approvingly.


It has been beautiful: the weather is not too hot, not too chilly ; the birds are busy singing ; plants are happily growing in an attractively green way ; washing is drying on the line so there is a chance of putting another wash on and maybe seeing the bottom of the laundry bin ; and the man with the power tool seems to have gone away.

I was surrounded by peace and beauty ... and then guilt kicked in ... what have I done to deserve this loveliness? I can't see why Providence has allowed me this peace. I haven't paid for it by working hard. I haven't healed anyone of their pain. I haven't contributed to society, beyond producing the next generation. How did my karmic load tip towards this reward of pleasure?

Recently I have been struggling with these thoughts. My life has obediently progressed from the hard work of school and university, through the horror of full-time work, into the maelstrom of motherhood. Now however, like many other women at this stage of life, I can't see the path ahead. What are we supposed to do next? At each stage I had the feeling that I had earned any moment of beauty that came my way, however briefly. This is what life is about, I thought. You do your best at this 'living' thing - commuting, burping babies, doing exams, whatever - and then your luck temporarily changes and you have a good day. But what of now, when Life isn't asking anything of me (apart from patience, perhaps)? What have I given, to receive this?

Dunno. Perhaps the answer would only come after hours of intense meditation and a good chat with an archbishop or yogi guy.

To improve my karmic debt I would like to be able give this sense of contentment to other people. I have a little daydream of running a 'cafe in a garden' where people could sit outside, even if it is chilly, have a cup of tea and a nice cake, and feel this lovely feeling of relaxation sweep over them.

This is what is in the cafe:
  • Victoria sponge at least 6 inches thick
  • cushions and quilts and blankets
  • china cups with saucers
  • plenty of bunting
  • cats roaming around the tables
  • champagne
  • flowers on the tables
  • ponds and waterfalls
  • hidden lights (supplied by my friend Rowan ;-) )
  • huge umbrellas
  • marquees for when it rains
  • no sulky waitresses
  • bantams
  • peacocks?
  • cucumber sandwiches without crusts
  • inch thick toast
.... you get the drift.  What would be in your dream cafe?